


To Burn With Desire

by khonsu



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), The Sandman (Comics)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 08:43:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15093230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khonsu/pseuds/khonsu
Summary: Xander meets a someone who Desires him.





	To Burn With Desire

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Series trademarks, all publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is not in any way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, and makes no money from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Making The Desired Decision**

When he got to the Diner, Xander went straight to the corner table, sat down and waved to the waiter. It was one of those places where you made your orders at the counter, but he wasn't in the mood to stand in line. After he’d been in the jungle alone for three months he wasn’t actually in the mood to meet people at all, but, now that he was in a busy city it was inevitable. The waitress brought the menu for him. “Meat… I mean steaks. Two… no, three steaks, rare,” Xander said in Arabic.

“Are you sure, Sir?” The waitress asked.

Xander gave her an annoyed glance. “Of course, I'm sure,” He grunted, “I'm hungry like a wolf, and coffee, bring me a large cup of coffee while I'm waiting for the food,”

She nodded, left and a few moments later she brought him two cups of coffee. “We don't have large cups, I hope that two cups is alright?”

“I'm good, thank you,” Xander paused. “Tell the cook to hurry, I'm starving,”

Xander had gotten halfway through the first cup of coffee when a dark-haired, sexy woman in her late twenties came to him. She smiled. "Alexander Harris, you are an interesting man,"

Xander raised his brow. “Do I know you?”

“No,” The woman said as she sat down at his table. “But, I have been watching you since your friend accidentally summoned me,”

Xander flinched. “Huh?” He looked at the pale woman, she looked like she had not seen the sun in decades, but her left arm was in the sun, and she didn’t seem to be bothered by that; she wasn’t a vampire. She smelled like peaches and had yellow eyes. Xander took another sip from his coffee looking into the woman’s eyes. “Who was the friend who summoned you and who are you?”

“Amy Madison,” The woman said. “She was trying to do a love spell, but summoned me,” She grinned. “I’m Desire,”

Xander sighed deeply, wiped the sweat from his forehead and adjusted his eye patch. “I know that you're not a vampire. What are you? A demon, cursed being, Hellgod or something else?”

“Something else. I am a personification of the natural force,” Desire said. “You are taking this quite well,”

Xander shrugged. “Either you are delusional―”

“That’s Delirium’s domain,”

“―or you are some sort of supernatural being. As long as you are not going to attack me, I’m okay being accompanied by a beautiful woman. Besides, it is nice to speak English,”

Desire smirked, and slowly the woman form shifted to a very attractive, albeit androgynous, man. “What about a beautiful man?”

Xander shrugged. “I don’t mind either way. Just so that you know; I’m straight,” He sighed. “Although, there have been times I have wis... hoped that I’d be gay,”

“I know, you have joked about it, but there have been times when you have actually desired to be homosexual because you believe that it would have made your life easier. Which it would not, men are just as complicated as women,”

“I know,” Xander said. “So… if you’re a personification of desire, then you should be aware of everyone’s desires?”

“Yes, I also can create and enhance the desires,”

Xander took a sip from his coffee and then crossed his hands behind his neck and leaned back in his chair. “There are nine women, eleven men, and three children in this coffee shop,”

“Do you want me to tell what they desire?”

“What does the bulldog desire?”

Desire burst into laughter. “I like that you’re not speciest. At the moment it wants the beef. And it also desires to escape because it doesn’t like its mistress,”

Xander nodded, he had noticed how the dog had been whimpering every time the woman moved her hands. “Okay… so, why are you interested in me?”

Desire gave an annoyed, frustrated sigh as he took a sip of tea. “Truthfully… I have never known why I watch you. And that is annoying and frustrating. I’m Desire, I should know what I desire, but you… I have no idea why I want you or what I want from you,”

“Yeah, well, tell me when you know. If you want to know, at the moment I desire food, which doesn’t seem to be coming anytime soon,” Xander said, again wiping the sweat off his forehead. “And this heat annoys me,”

Desire giggled. “You also desire me, which is strange, since I’m a man and you are a straight man,”

“Uh-huh, but I still remember the beauty that you were a moment ago,” Xander said, suddenly realizing something. “If you’re Desire… did you cause the fluke? I mean, did you make me desire Willow when I was dating Cordy?”

“What do you want the answer to be?”

“Truthful,”

“Yes,” Desire said. “Cordelia wasn’t the right woman for you,”

Xander's eyes narrowed, and his mouth thinned. "Desire," He said imperiously, "what do I desire now?"

“Revenge, you want to make me suffer,” Desire calmly said. “But, you’re wrong, I didn’t cause Cordelia’s death. That was her destiny, your relationship with her would have ended soon anyway. That way it hurt you less,”

“Yeah, sure, keep telling that to yourself, and maybe someday you believe it,” Xander said. "How many times have you messed with my life?"

"A few, but only when you were going to make a huge mistake,"

"Fuck!" Xander looked at the ceiling. “God-fucking-dammit! What the hell is wrong with me? Why are all demon women attracted to me? Why can’t they leave me alone?”

“Actually, I think that it might be my fault,” Desire said.

“Huh?”

Desire grinned. “I desire you, which kind of marks you and supernatural beings probably can sense that, and it makes you more desirable,”

“Fuck! Stop doing that!”

“No, I really can’t… well, I could, but this is the first time I actually desire a mortal, and I don’t want to change that. This yearning I feel is new and fascinating feeling,” Desire grimaced. “Even though it annoys and frustrates me,”

Xander opened his mouth to yell at her, but then he decided that, if the wo/man was who she said she was, it probably wasn’t a good idea to anger a force of nature. Then another pale woman at the table at the end of the Diner arose and walked toward them. She was a skinny and pale goth. “Your sister wouldn’t be a pale goth girl?” Xander asked.

Desire groaned and turned to look at the goth girl walking to them. “You are early, I supposed to have eight more minutes,” She said to the Goth as she sat at Xander’s table.

“Yeah, I know, but I am intrigued. This is the first time you have shown any interest in mortals,” The Goth girl said offering her hand to Xander. “Hi, Alexander, I’m Death,”

Xander shook her hand. “Of course, you are,” He sighed deeply. “So, I’m gonna die with an empty stomach?”

Death chuckled. “I can see why you like him,” She told Desire and then turned back to Xander. “Most mortals fear or desire death, but you are just accepting your death as a fact. No fear, no desire, just plain acceptance,”

Xander shrugged. “I never expected to live to be twenty, much less thirty-six. And I’m tired,” He grinned at Death. “dead tired,” The smirk didn’t reach his eye. He was dead tired, he’d seen so much that he'd started to feel terribly old. He’d come to Africa after the break up with Dawn because Africa had been the place where he’d felt most homely after Sunnydale.

Now, at the age thirty-six, he felt like he was a timeworn man. The old injuries made his body ache all the time, he rarely slept a full night without a nightmare waking him up, and he’d lost too much to care if he lived or died anymore.

Desire, shifting back to her female form, reached and caressed his bearded cheek. “I know,”

Xander nodded. “I bet you do,” He turned to Death. “So, how am I gonna die?”

Death raised her brow. “Does it matter?”

“No, not really, unless there’s a bomb and all these people will die with me. Then I have to try to save them,”

Death didn’t answer, and Xander took it as a sign that there was a bomb. He stood up, pulled out his gun and aimed out to the sky, and pulled the trigger. “Leave, or I will kill every one of you!” he yelled in Arabic and repeated it with Swahili. In seconds the diner was empty, as was the street beside it. Xander sat back down. “Well, how long do I have?”

“Four minutes,” Death smiled. “Even though your life is not written in our brother's book, I expected you to do that. Don’t take this wrongly, but you are the White Knight,”

“I hate being called that… who is your brother?” Xander asked putting the first cup of coffee away and starting to drink the second one.

“Destiny,”

Xander snorted. “Are you saying that I never had a destiny?”

“Exactly,” Desire cheerfully said. “Xander, after your death, I’d like to take you to my domain. I’d like to get to know you, maybe I could figure out why I desire your company,”

“Is my soul on the way to Hell or Heaven?” Xander asked Death.

“Even if I'd know, which I don’t, I would not tell you,” Death said.

“That’s understandable,” Xander turned to Desire. “Your domain… have you seen Hellraiser movies?”

“No,” Desire replied.

“Those are films about creatures that harvest human souls to torture them in sadomasochistic experiments,” Death explained.

“Oh,” Desire said. “No, I’m not planning anything like that. I won't torture you… unless that is what you desire?”

“Hell no! I’ve been tortured and I really, really, really, didn’t like it,” Xander said drinking his coffee. “Damn, I hate dying hungry….” He raised his brow at Desire. “So, your domain… One, will I be locked there without a way out? Two, what would I do there?”

“No, you would not be locked. And, you can do whatever you desire,”

Xander scratched his nose. “And if I wanted to get to the final judgment, of whatever it is that happens to the souls, can I go?”

“Yes, if that is what you desire,” Desire said.

“Death, will you be my witness? About what she just said?” Xander asked he wasn’t sure if the sisters weren’t working together, but, he really didn’t care anymore. He didn’t want to die, but he didn't want to be immortal either. Desire’s offer was tempting, but he would take it only if he had a way out of it.

And, apparently, after the death, the final judgment was that way.

“Yes, of course,” Death said. “And, if you want to go to be judged, she can’t stop you even if she’d want to,”

“So, Desire, what do I desire?” Xander asked.

“To be loved unconditionally,” Desire said.

“Yeah, sure, but that’s an easy one. Who doesn’t want unconditional love? What else?”

Desire looked at him for a long moment. “Are we talking about sexual desires or other things your desire?”

“Whatever makes me tick,” Xander said.

“That is a good question. I see what you desire, but I don't understand them. Sometimes human desires are confusing me,"

"So, you don't know what makes me tick?"

"No, that is part of your appeal to me; I want to understand both of our desires,” Desire smiled. “Xander, if you come with me, I promise that it will be a road to discovery,”

Xander looked at her for a long moment. Then he smirked and took Desire’s hand and kissed the top of it. “My Lady, show your domain to me,” he said just before a bullet entered his heart.


End file.
